Ahlan wa sahlan!
It's the MOST wonderful time of the year! Yes indeed, my little messengers of Yahweh, it's Christmas! I haven't felt especially festive this year, but I'm kind of getting there. I've finished work for the year and have watched Home Alone twice, so with a sprinkle of fairy dust I'll be feeling as seasonal as a Christmas pudding smothered in brandy butter with cream and ice cream, resting on a bed of tinsel, next to a cracker, while receiving the Queen's speech. And a partridge in a mahfuckin' pear tree. *Mic drop*
Anyway! The end of the year is also a time for reflection, and for the past couple of years I've performed an exercise in musical navel-gazing in the form of the n1 for n2 series, where n1 = the last two digits of the four-digit year identifier, and n2 = the same as n1. We've had 13 for 13 and 14 for 14, and in a shock twist, I present to you 15 for 15; a selection of tracks from 2015 that have been especially pleasing to the ear. Yalla! Let's go!
15. Let Me Be // Bondax feat. Bo Saris
Imagine the following objects: a piece of polished chrome, a (faux) fur rug, a wooden sculpture that has been given the fine sandpaper treatment, a bowl of melted chocolate, and a silk scarf. All of these things are smooth, but they ain't as smooth as this song! OH! Yes, Bondax feat. Bo Saris, you may be my gentleman.
14. Broken Generation // Of Mice & Men
CAN YOU HEAR THEM CALLING? Well, can you? Of Mice & Men have just one line of inquiry, and they'd really like to gather some further information on the matter. This song really surprised me; it's easy to write metalcore off as a bit
13. Smooth Sailin' // Leon Bridges
Blues meets soul meets Raphael Saadiq-esque vibes meets something unquantifiable but completely fresh and unique. There's a lot of intersection here. WE NEED AN URGENT VENN DIAGRAM PLZ. Anyway, Leon Bridges' album, Coming Home, is completely gorgeous, and this is my standout track.
12. Love Like Mine // Miami Horror feat. Cleopold
I'm a big fan of things that are neon. Music is not neon, but this song is about as close to hearing neon as you'll get. It's a giddy mix of funk and synthpop, brought bang up to date for Generation Y. And y the funk not?
11. She Knows // Ne-Yo feat. Juicy J
Firstly, lol Juicy J. I'll be needing that on a t-shirt (that is a LIE). I make it a general rule of my existence to reject the output of Ne-Yo as vociferously as the bidding of Satan himself. However, this song caught me off-guard. The chorus makes me want to dance awkwardly at da club (only til about 11, mind; my musculoskeletal system isn't built for the long-term dutty wine as it once was), showing out with my homegurls and hypnotising any gentleman suitors, as the song alludes to. TLDR; Ne-Yo is shit, but this song is not. Juicy J is conceptually hilarious and horrific in equal measure.
10. King // Years & Years
I could listen to Olly Alexander's beautiful voice for quite literally years and years. OH SNAP. King is pop perfection; dance-friendly beat, delicious melody, and a chorus that's easy to sing/shout after a few sherbets.
9. House Every Weekend // David Zowie
When it comes to House Every Weekend (House Every Weekend House Every Weekend), I'm super enthused. Hearing this for the first time was a massive blast from the past; were it not for a lack of Turkey Dinosaurs for dinner and Sister Sister on the tellybox, I would have sworn blind it was the summer of 1995. Good vibes.
8. Huarache Lights // Hot Chip
Guys! Hot Chip! Remember Hot Chip? They were all ready for the (inside outside left side work that) floor, and now they're here to spread the word of Huarache Lights. I'm not sure of the song's meaning, but it's either a critique of the mechanisation of production, or just about dancing about in ya Nikes, like. There is no movement outside of those interpretations, for this is the word of the LORD.
7. Delilah // Florence + the Machine
Delilah packs a lot into five minutes, let me tell you. It starts off slow, then there's a drum just creeping in, some controlled shrieking (I don't think that's unfair guyz), followed by what I can only describe as the 'main bit', accompanied by a sick beat (not verified by Taylor Swift, but I'm rogue as fuck). There's an amazing 30-second interlude from 3:04 onwards, before Delilah's final flourish. Roarsome.
6. I Don't Fuck With You // Big Sean feat. E-40
There is nothing about this song I do not cherish and adore. I should be offended by the aggressive misogynistic language, but sometimes I just do not give a fuck about a stupid-ass bitch, and I do have a million trillion things I'd rather concern myself with. It's something to which we can all relate. Even if you hold legitimate concerns about the content, the sample is outstanding, and the breakdown at the end is just perfection ("yeah I know that karma too real so I hope you doing cool, but still stupid-ass bitch I aint fucking with you!"). Shout out to my homie Sarah; this is our specific 'lunchtime cruising to Sainsbury's' soundtrack. It's about as inappropriate as you'd expect.
5. Hotline Bling // Drake
Generally, the aforementioned Ne-Yo rule applies to Drake. I've never really liked his music, apart from the bits of Crew Love that are performed exclusively by The Weeknd. ¡However! This song, man. It's so fucking good. I played it solidly on repeat for about a week and it didn't get old. I think a lot of it is to do with the video, in which Drake performs his best/worst dad dance and still manages to chirpse da hoes. When I listen to Hotline Bling, I can imagine the exquisite awkwardness of the whole situation, which makes the song even betterer.
4. Can't Feel My Face // The Weeknd
Oh, The Weeknd. Your hair is madness but dat voice is angelic. I love all the layers and intricacy of this song, as well as one of the interpretations of its meaning, that being the euphoria of infatuation. It's also kind of about smack or crack or shellac; whatever the kids are shoving up their noses these days. Look, I'm old, irrelevant, and went to a convent school, OK? I know nothing of the street. Anyway, if I were Tony the Tiger (which I should propose as a career development goal), I would give my verdict of this song as follows: GRRRRRRREAT.
(Sorry.)
3. On The Regular // Shamir
I don't even know where to start with this fucking masterpiece. There's a cow bell, extensive synth, dope beats, sick lyrics, and the glitter-glue holding the whole thing together; Shamir. It's impossible to describe the exact combination of factors that makes On The Regular so incredible; I mean, I can't even figure out the genre. It's disco-hiphop-synthpop dipped in gold and sprinkled with diamonds. That's the best I can do. Listen to this song and embrace its strange beauty. Just don't try to touch Shamir's crown though, because there will be scandal.
2. Love Yourself // Justin Bieber
I know. It's Justin Bieber. I'm not going to deny that he's still kind of a penis, but he's had a bladdy impressive musical comeback. I'll discuss Purpose in greater detail shortly, but trust that it was difficult to select just one track for this list. In the end I went for Love Yourself; there's something about the scaled-back arrangement, the crushing defiance of the lyrics, and the vulnerability in Biebs' vocal, that makes it completely irresistible.
1. Pedestrian At Best // Courtney Barnett
The crux of my perpetual love for Pedestrian At Best is that it's essentially a ranting monologue set to guitars and drums, but that doesn't do it the justice it rightly deserves. When Courtney Barnett roars "put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you" in an unrepentant Aussie inflection, you're right there with her. Fucking right, Courtney, we're all having an existential time crisis. AND THAT'S OK. Pedestrian At Best is raw and meandering and fucking excellent and I love it.
Album of the Year
Justin Bieber // Purpose
I'm sorry, but I'm also really not sorry (is it too late now to say sorrynotsorry?). I have to hand it to the guy, Purpose is well-written, well-produced, and well-delivered. I'm not sure to what extent JB himself was involved in the foundation work, but the end result is impressive. I listened to the whole album several times, and while there are peaks and troughs in quality, there are no real clangers. I get that there's a high cringe factor, and trust that I was sceptical before the first listen, but it's worth a bash, nah?
Album highlights: What Do You Mean?; Sorry; Love Yourself; The Feeling; Where Are Ü Now; Trust
Soundtrack of the Year
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Come on, man! What else was it going to be?
I've created a Spotify playlist containing the 15 for 15 winners, which can be found by clicking here and entering the following password: kylorenisatwat2k15. Jk, there is no password, but Kylo Ren is a twat (#nospoilerz).
Peace x
